LATEST FRAUDULENT LETTER GOING AROUND

Many sad cases here and on the planet, our choice over the years has been project literacy plus have had a stop order for meals on wheels for the aged since I have had a bank account, never thought I might live to actually be brought a meal.
As normal supermarkets with the car park guys are sometimes a pain plus I also had a guy follow me with a bag of flour saying he was short, I gave him a score and next thing he had a cheap bottle of wine, was over the moon and always glad roles not reversed.

The problem is when politely declining,whether it be beggars or the jehovahs witnesses,it is read as a sign of weakness or uncertainty so the trick,unfortunately, is how to end the interaction in the shortest possible time.
I found that the doorbell ringing converters also react best to "sorry I'm Catholic"..........they move off without a murmur.

"sorry I'm a Catholic" bit heavy having to go to that extent lol

rob


this works for me everytime....i adore nothing more than the JW or Reborns at my door.

the last time someone knocked was about 2 years ago when i lived in twickenham

knock knock
Me "morning may i help you"
2 Nice ladies (1 about 80 the other about 25) "hi we are Jehovas W and would like to talk to you"
Me "sure"
them " do you know much about JW"
me "yes quite a bit actually"
"do you have a few minutes to chat"
"yes of course but would you like to come in and be comfortable"
"yes that would be nice"
in the lounge now sitting down
" so you say you familiar with JW"
"yes i am , in my church we often discuss other religeon and JW often comes up"
"I c, so you go to church often"
"well i say church but it more a place of worship, frankly though its getting me a bit down. Thats why i am keen to listen what you have to say and offer"
"you say its getting you down, what "church/religeon are you practicing"
"I am a satanist"
me "dont leave, come back"
me "dont go, help me, drinking all that blood is getting me down"
me "aww come on, try to save me"
me " oh well f uck off then"

and heaven forbid the following happens

ring ring

"me Hello"
Saleman" Hi i am from Anglia windows and do you have double galzing across your house"
me "no"
"sir, we are currently running a promotion, get the front done and we will do the back windows for free"
"whew sounds like a good deal"
"its the best deal we have had for a while sir, may i take some measurements/ammounts over the phone , then i can get one of local salesment to pop in to see you"
" sure, across the front of my house i have 12 window's, all quite large."
"sounds like you got a nice big house sir, how many across the back"
" i would say its a bit less but still about 8 or 9 although some are a bit larger"
"sir when would it be convenient for someone to pop in"
"anytime next week"
"may i ahve your postcode"
"2197"
"sir 2197? are there any letters?
"i dont think so"
"what area is it in?"
"regents park"
"ok let me try that, may i know the road?"
"augusta road"
"sir i cant find that road nor that postcode , can we start again. can i have the city or town please"
"johanesburg"
"i beg you pardon"
"johanesburg"
"sir are you being funny?"
"no i have a house in jhb and i need windows and doors, you called me i never called you."
"sir i think you trying to be arkward"
"no i am trying to buy windowns and doors, you are the one that now cant sell them to me"
"i am going to hang up now"
"please please dont, i want windows i want doors.................

There are many such.
Some are highly trained and one I know of there is no getting away no matter what, because of the professorial skills he has acquired. Last time I escaped with a packet of Peter Stuyvesants and a chocolate bar.

But the true connoisseurs of the game are those of high class profile.

The stories are endless.
50 years ago there was this guy who visited a small island and managed to convince everyone he was a NATO admiral from Napples HQ. Many islanders were seamen so he started delivering promises to them. He was going to secure admission of their sons to the navy academy and other such. Everyday someone invited him for dinner and they were queuing up. But in the end someone, somehow smelled the rat. So he reports to the police and next day when the daily ferry arrived, the ferry's captain who was informed about it goes to the fellow and invites him to inspect a small platoon of sailors, supposedly in honour. The crook -perhaps unwillingly- goes to the port and does that. But when the "inspection" was finished they told him "now come aboard and we will show you your new quarters" ...

My ex "racing friend" who actually doubles as high class and low class, has countless victims.
One time there was this betting shop agent who was using some specialist software for his clients. He was very friendly with me. One day he phones me and says "listen mr ... is not quite satisfied with my software, so I purchased something new and I want you to show me how it works". So I did and after the demo I said "ok, now our friend mr ... will be ok", Week later I go to the same shop but now the faces were down on the floor and instead of "wellcome" they started telling me things like "queue is on the other side mister, stand properly please". What had happened ? As I found out, our "friend" had left them with a 1000 euro debt and was already looking for a new haven !

scotia Wrote:

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> "sorry I'm a Catholic" bit heavy having to go to
> that extent lol



Mike meets this girl, fell in love, wants to marry here, she says to him"I can not marry you I am a prostitute"
he says "don't worry i will convert to your religion"(