This is a Joke of a thread

i am worried

The man who took Ryan Air to court for losing his luggage has lost his case..

Two paddies are driving down the road and get pulled over by the police.The policeman gets out
and knocks on trhe window.Once the men open the window,the police officer says,'We are looking for
two rapists.''
The men quickly close their car window and start arguing.After a few minutes they open the window
again and say to the policeman,'' OK, we'll do it !''

Put yourself in racing commentator mode and read this...!
_The Line up_:
In lane 1. Passionate Lady
In lane 2. Bare Belly
In lane 3. Silk Panties
In lane 4. Conscience
In lane 5. Jockey Shorts
In lane 6. Clean Sheets
In lane 7. Thighs
In lane 8. Big Willy
In lane 9. Heavy Bosom
In lane 10. Merry Cherry
/*/AND THEY'RE OFF!!!/*/
Conscience is left behind at the gate.
Jockey Shorts and Silk Panties are off in a hurry.
Heavy Bosom is being pressured.
Passionate Lady is caught between Thighs //and//...
Big Willy is in a dangerous spot
/*/AT THE HALFWAY MARK:/*/
It's Bare Belly on top, Thighs open and
Big Willy is pushing in.
Heavy Bosom is being pushed hard against Clean Sheets.
Passionate Lady and Thighs are working hard on Bare Belly //and//...
Bare Belly is under terrific pressure from Big Willy.
**/AT THE FINAL TURN:/**
Merry Cherry pops under the strain.
Bare Belly is making a final push.
Big Willy is in //and//...
Passionate Lady is coming.
/*/AT THE FINISH:/*/
It's Big Willy giving everything he's got
Passionate Lady takes everything Big Willy has to offer.
It looks like a dead heat but Big Willy comes through with one final thrust and wins by a head...
Bare Belly slows,
Thighs weakens,
Heavy Bosom pulls up //and//...
Clean Sheets never had a chance

source: www.jokebuddha.com/joke/GRAND_NATIONAL_HORSE_RACE#ixzz1uBZc0bzi

Age restriction 21L

https://encrypted-tbn3.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTcVcTxS5H2roPsTnITzGvuJs3CrvOnfWUCkPMOaeMrZrvnrCLxq4GOVxk

A couple had been married for 50 years.
They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says,
' Just think we were sitting at this table together 50 years ago.'
''I know,'' the old man said. ''We were probably sitting here as naked as a Jaybird.''
''Well ''granny said, ''Lets relive some old times''.
Whereupon the two stripped off at the table.
''You know,'' said the old lady, '' My nipples are as hot for you,as they was 50 years ago.''
'' I wouldnt be surprissed,'' replied Gramps. ''Ones in your coffee and the other ones in your oatmeal.''

A group of grade. 4's, 5's and 6's, accompanied by two female teachers, went on a field trip to the Greyville Racecourse, to learn about thoroughbred race horses and the supporting industry, but mostly to see the horses.

When it was time to take the children to the 'bathroom', it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other. The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the men's toilet when one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach the urinal.

Having no choice, she went inside, helped the little boys with their pants, and began hoisting them up one by one, holding on to their 'wee-wees' to direct the flow away from their clothes.

As she lifted one, she couldn't help but notice that he was unusually well endowed. Trying not to show that she was staring the teacher said, 'You must be in grade 6?'

'No ', he replied. 'I'm riding Golden Chateau in the seventh race, but I appreciate your help.'

90 year man: My 18 year wife is pregnant, your opinion doctor?

Dr: Let me tell you a story..A hunter in a hurry, grabs an umbrella instead of gun. He moves in to the jungle, sees a lion, lifts the umbrella, pulls the handle & BANG.. the lion drops dead.!

Old man: That's impossible, someone else must have shot the lion.

Dr: EXACTLY ..!<