I had sex today.
- Sylvester
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I had sex today.
12 years 9 months ago
There was this guy who really took care of his body and jogged six miles every day. One morning he looked into the mirror and admired his body and noticed that he was suntanned all over with the exception of his penis, which he readily decided to do something about it. He went to the beach, completely undressed and buried himself in the sand, except for his penis, which he left sticking out.
About that time two little old ladies came strolling along the beach, one using a cane. On seeing the thing sticking out of the sand, she began to move it round with her cane, remarking to the other little old lady saying, "There is no justice in the world."
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Like · · Share · 86157136 · 12 hours ago ·
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Because It's Funny
Sent to me from a fan. It's a bit long but funny as hell! Enjoy
An old couple are celebrating their 75th wedding anniversary at the same quaint little restaurant where they had their first date. All through their little meal; they reminisce about their life together and many patrons stop to congratulate them on their happy life together. As they are finishing the meal and getting ready to leave; the old man leans forward and whispers (loudly since they are both close to deaf) ’Dear; do you remember what we did after our first meal together 75 years ago?”
His wife blushes a bright red and grins as a twinkle lights up in her eyes. ’Yes poppa… we went out back and made love against the fence. I feel in love with you that night because you were such a passionate and tender lover.”
The old man grins and whispers again. “Should we go back and try to do it again… for old times sake?”
The old woman blushes again and slowly rises out of her seat as she replies you pay the bill and I’ll meet you back there.”
The old couple are unaware that a man at the table not too far away has over heard their plan and even though it is tender and loving; it’s not something he is too keen on seeing. Several minutes after the old couple have left; curiosity gets the better of him and he sneaks out to see how the old couple are doing. As he tip-toes around the corner he hears the old couple groaning and moaning. As he finds them in the dark against the fence he sees them thrashing and jumping around like a couple of teenagers. He watches them for several minutes before they both fall to the ground and lay there for several more minutes before they slowly crawl to their feet and hobble back to their car using each other for support.
The voyeur is impressed with the virility of the old couple and just has to know what their secret is to be able to make such intense and passionate love, at such an old age as the couple.
As the old couple are climbing into their car; the voyeur walks up to them and says. “I am so sorry… I overheard you talking to your wife of many years about what you were going to do back there and I couldn’t help myself; I had to see if you could really do it. I was shocked and humbled by how passionate and energetic you were. You must tell me what is your secret to being able to make love like that at your age.”
The old man takes a long deep breath and sighs. “There is no secret young man.” he finally replies. “75 years ago that fence wasn’t electrified.”
About that time two little old ladies came strolling along the beach, one using a cane. On seeing the thing sticking out of the sand, she began to move it round with her cane, remarking to the other little old lady saying, "There is no justice in the world."
...
...See More
Like · · Share · 86157136 · 12 hours ago ·
Options
Because It's Funny
Sent to me from a fan. It's a bit long but funny as hell! Enjoy
An old couple are celebrating their 75th wedding anniversary at the same quaint little restaurant where they had their first date. All through their little meal; they reminisce about their life together and many patrons stop to congratulate them on their happy life together. As they are finishing the meal and getting ready to leave; the old man leans forward and whispers (loudly since they are both close to deaf) ’Dear; do you remember what we did after our first meal together 75 years ago?”
His wife blushes a bright red and grins as a twinkle lights up in her eyes. ’Yes poppa… we went out back and made love against the fence. I feel in love with you that night because you were such a passionate and tender lover.”
The old man grins and whispers again. “Should we go back and try to do it again… for old times sake?”
The old woman blushes again and slowly rises out of her seat as she replies you pay the bill and I’ll meet you back there.”
The old couple are unaware that a man at the table not too far away has over heard their plan and even though it is tender and loving; it’s not something he is too keen on seeing. Several minutes after the old couple have left; curiosity gets the better of him and he sneaks out to see how the old couple are doing. As he tip-toes around the corner he hears the old couple groaning and moaning. As he finds them in the dark against the fence he sees them thrashing and jumping around like a couple of teenagers. He watches them for several minutes before they both fall to the ground and lay there for several more minutes before they slowly crawl to their feet and hobble back to their car using each other for support.
The voyeur is impressed with the virility of the old couple and just has to know what their secret is to be able to make such intense and passionate love, at such an old age as the couple.
As the old couple are climbing into their car; the voyeur walks up to them and says. “I am so sorry… I overheard you talking to your wife of many years about what you were going to do back there and I couldn’t help myself; I had to see if you could really do it. I was shocked and humbled by how passionate and energetic you were. You must tell me what is your secret to being able to make love like that at your age.”
The old man takes a long deep breath and sighs. “There is no secret young man.” he finally replies. “75 years ago that fence wasn’t electrified.”
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