I'VE BEEN BANNED FROM WOOLWORTHS

Yesterday I was at my local Woolworths store buying a large bag of My Dog dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Dog Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in hospital last time, but I'd lost 10 kilograms before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.


I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with My Dog nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off the kerb to sniff an Irish Setter's arse and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. I'm now banned from Woolworths.

Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of daft things to say.

< I am pissing myself laaging, brilliant !!! Absolutely Brilliant !!<

Farks sake,my son thinks i'm going cra(:Dzy

Ha ha brilliant

Haaahaa!!!

Shot SLY.

Classic Sly!!!

Another cracker Sly, I also lost a mate after he eat dog food, it was not the food that killed him but he broke his neck trying to lick his own balls

Thanks Sly.... tough day made better by a belly shaking laugh....excellent.

Good one Sly(tu)

I am laughing so much I can not get to drink to celebrate my win (

That is brilliant!,Sylvester you are a legend! You Should have a show on Comedy Central. Ps I'm gonna try that diet maybe I can ride 52 again. <