easy wrote: Rob
sometimes we smiling because we are so stressed and nervous that all we can do is smile. Sometimes after not sleeping for days and dealing with screaming a smile is all we have left.
as for "naughty" what defines naughty? sometimes you think my son is naughty but he is just so frustrated that his only outlet is shouting or screaming. My son has a pure heart , he has no malice, but he can't help himself , his brain does NOT process danger and his BRAIN cannot handle change. So with him its ALL about routine, and as soon as we change that routine he tilts. The fact that his ADHD is so severe means that his autism has not been fully tested or diagnosed yet, what we have no doubt about is that a lot of his frustrations come from being so bright and not being able to get his brain to get the words out as quick as he needs to. This makes him stutter and get very anxious.
Im not defending him (this does not need defending) I'm simply stating the fact that sometimes on that plane or train or restaurant there is more going on than meets the eye...
Now lets talk about punishment, my boy has had everything except waterboarding done. It has no effect because his brain cannot associate the 2 , even now under medication (his is better) if something does not interest him he does not pay attention.
What interests him he excels in, so he counts up and down to 60, he knows every car make on the road, he can tell you how many people are in a room just by walking in and glancing up (no counting with fingers) BUT when we get to shopping mall we have to ask him which door he is getting out of. The doors change with his mind changing, its a small battle we let him win. We don't want to fight him over the choice of a door (we used to before we understood him) but we do fight him on him choosing ONLY hot scalding water for the bath....and we explain why.
Hidings don't work for him, he feels no pain. Taking toys and iPads away meant nothing until about 3 months ago when after 3 months on medication he started to become "normal"
School is an issue, he used to trip a kid up. The 1 hour later when that same kid fell he was there first to pick him up and console him/her....
Gents, this is a brain wiring condition. It splits many families and even though in the old days methods were applied that YOU might think worked, i disagree. BTW i FOUGHT this diagnosis when it was delivered BUT i see the benefits of the medication coupled with the assistance at school.ALSO our dealing with him has changed, we don't shout anymore and we stopped punishing him. We talk softly to him and drop down to his level. we allow certain things to get away with and mostly we have grown to love him even more......and started liking him
So say what you want, sometimes that kid on the flight is just a little special and the parents are at the end of their tether and all they have left is a smile....
My friend Solotrama has been on the journey with me (over the phone) and he can tell you how its been BUT its now 10000000% better
Easy,you forget that I understand the "autistic behaviour". I totally relate to those issues.....................my dilemma with my son is differentiating when he is being naughty or autistic (he is very shrewd and capable of just being naughty) .................I discipline him for being naughty but try to ensure I never do so for being autistic (frustrated etc etc) ............and undoubtedly err on the side of caution:S
However I try very hard to keep others from having to endure either!
(the only punishment that works with my boy, is Dad's disapproval ...........thank goodness its what he hates most)
