smile

Two recent court cases, have earned the attention of newspaper readers in
South Africa

1. One person was fined R1 000 for not having a TV license.
2. Another was released on bail for R500 after being arrested for murder.

The moral of this South African story:

If you do not have a TV license and the inspector comes round, kill him.
You'll save R500.

.......It's the Right Thing To Do....

HOUSE BOY: BAKARI

Bakari is a house boy who every day drinks the wine of his Boss and puts
water in the bottle to replace what he drank. But the Boss having suspicions
as for the quality of the wine, decides to buy pastis (a French wine that
changes colour if you add water).

Bakari as usual, takes a mouthful and adds water to replace what he drank
however, soon after he added water the pastis became milky.

When the Boss came back and noticed it, he was sure he had managed to nail
Bakari as thief!!! At that same moment Bakari realized he was in trouble and
decided to go into the kitchen.

The Boss tells his wife, today you will see that Bakari will acknowledge'.
So he calls Bakari.

He shouted: 'Bakari!'
Bakari answered: 'Yes, Boss'
Boss: 'Who drank my pastis?'
No answer.
The Boss reiterated his question: 'Who drank my wine?

'Still; No answer.
Then the Boss went to fetch Bakari from the kitchen and said to him:
Are you insane or what? When I call you, you say yes boss but when I ask you
a question you don't answer me?

Bakari said that 'The thing is, when you are in the kitchen there, you don't
hear anything at all, except the name.

Then to prove that Bakari was telling a lie the Boss said to him: 'You stay
beside Madam here, and I will go into the kitchen, and you should ask me a
question '. Bakari accepted and the Boss went in the kitchen.

Bakari shouted: 'Boss'.
He answered: 'Yes, Bakari'.
Bakari continued: 'Who goes into the maids bedroom when the Madam is not
here? '.
No answer.
Bakari shouted again: 'Boss, I say who made the maid pregnant?'
No answer.
Bakari shouted again (third time): 'Boss, I say who made the maid pregnant?'

The Boss returns from the kitchen running and says, Bakari; it is true, you
are right. When one is in the kitchen, one does not hear anything, only the
name!

Bran Muffins


The couple were 85 years old, and had been married for sixty years. Though
they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they watched their
pennies.

Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to the
wife's insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last decade.

One day, their good health didn't help when they went on a rare vacation and
their plane crashed, sending them off to Heaven.


They reached the pearly gates, and St. Peter escorted them inside. He took
them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine silks, with a fully
stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the master bath. A maid could be seen
hanging their favorite clothes in the closet.

They gasped in astonishment when he said, 'Welcome to Heaven. This will be
your home now.'

The old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost. 'Why, nothing,'
Peter replied, 'remember, this is your reward in Heaven.'

The old man looked out the window and right there he saw a championship golf
course, finer and more beautiful than any ever built on Earth.
'What are the greens fees?,' grumbled the old man.

'This is heaven,' St. Peter replied. 'You can play for free, every day.'

Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch, with every
imaginable cuisine laid out before them, from seafood to steaks to exotic
deserts, free flowing beverages.

'Don't even ask,' said St. Peter to the man. This is Heaven, it is all free
for you to enjoy.'

The old man looked around and glanced nervously at his wife.

'Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods, and the
decaffeinated tea?,' he asked.
'That's the best part,' St. Peter replied. 'You can eat and drink as much as
you like of whatever you like, and you will never get fat or sick.This is
Heaven!'


The old man pushed, 'No gym to work out at?'

'Not unless you want to,' was the answer.

'No testing my sugar or blood pressure or...'
'Never again. All you do here is enjoy yourself.'

The old man glared at his wife and said, 'You and your bran muffins. We
could have been here ten years ago!'