POST RACE INTERVIEW I'D LOVE TO SEE

Are you one of those who has difficulty staying awake ( or interested ) whilst one of our number is interviewed in the winner's enclosure and thanks everyone from grandma to his/her childhood nanny?

Here's my fantasy interview conducted by Julie Alexander :

JA: Well done! I see the meh ( No Julie - it's a M-A-R-E with an 'R') has finally cracked it! Did you fancy her?

O: Actually I didn't even know she was running until I happened to see the entry whilst browsing the newspaper this morning. The only communication I normally get from the yard is an account. But to answer your question : No. After two and a half years in the maiden ranks it was difficult to fancy her.

JA: I'll mention that to Gary*.....nevertheless she ran a great race today. Do you think there is another in the tank? ( editor : She's a horse and not a car, Julie ).

O: No.

JA:Anyone you would like to thank?

O: Nobody other than myself for persisting with this talentless bag of bones for at least 18 months too long. The breeder was remunerated by R175,000 for producing the animal, the trainer has been paid for his largely fruitless efforts, the vets have absolutely thrived off its unsoundness and the jockey is now being paid for a relatively strigthforward ride........

JA: But at least you will get to enjoy your stake cheque!

O: Duh? How is R 40,000 odd - from which about 17% will be deducted at source - going to affect the R 175,000 purchase price; to which I can add about R 130,000 for the last two years' keep and vets bills? ( editor: Julie - Your maths is not good! ). Now I suppose this unfortunate creature is going to be sent to a stud farm to pollute future bloodlines. It should have been humanely euthenased years ago.

JA: Oh, well - at least you have a bottle of bubbly from the RA so that you can celebrate with your friends.

O: This horse has cost me all my friends. Two years ago the yard told me it was a good thing for the Fillies Guineas and two years later we are cracking the maiden. My only hope going forward is if the club introduces a Senior's Circuit for horses.

JA : But racing is such an unpredictable sport. What would you like to see in the future ?

O: You doing an interview topless!

*No reference to any trainer either living or dead.....

Brilliant !!!

Excellent post Garrick, and like all the best humour, not a million miles from the truth!

Garrick, sounds like you are not associating with the proper people. Racing is what you make of it, not what is handed to you.

Ah Barry,
you obviously live in a world where your trainer
a> gives you a call and
b> might ask you what you think should happen with your horse

That happens here too in a place called fantasy racing.

You need to find the right people to deal with. Believe me, they are out there.

Indeed they do, Barry. I am lucky to have more than one trainer who keeps me up to speed regularly, but I have also known a few of the other variety!